Sugar Land, TX - A groundbreaking new study that asked high school students to identify their peers as "trolls" or "humans" has yielded surprising results.
Of the 700 students listed in the survey, 68% were classified as trolls, with an elite 16% achieving the coveted status of "so troll."
"It's an epidemic," says principal Jonathan Stewart. "It's disrupting the classroom. one minute, they're calmly paying attention and taking notes, and the next, they're drawing that awful wrinkly face all over their paper and using the word 'swag' excessively in conversation. We simply don't know what to do."
In an even more surprising twist, the study found that many of the school's teachers have also fallen prey to the troll epidemic. Ted Luchow, an honors physics teacher, was described as a "troll" by all but one of his 96 students (the nonresponsive student fell asleep completing the survey, a behavior described by his classmates as "trolling on you guys so hard"). "First the students, now the teachers... Where will it end?" wonders the distraught Stewart. "This is turning out to be even worse than the pants-on-the-ground craze of 2010."
When asked to comment, student Trevor McIntyre, identified as "so troll" by 100% of his peers, said of Stewart, "This guy..." and walked away.
lol !
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